Hey, y’all! It is time for Man Crush Monday, the day when the internets are abuzz with girls plastering pics of their heartthrobs on Instagram and Twitter. Only here at ChickLitChickadees, we do things a little differently. Rather than post half naked photos of famous celebrities who are DBags in real life, we give a shout out to our favorite male literary characters.
This week’s ManCrushMonday is not about a particular individual at all. Sorry, ladies!
As you may have read in my previous post, I had the wonderful chance to attend a book event for Jamie McGuire’s Beautiful Oblivion. While I was there, I was able to gab away with some truly delightful bookish ladies as we waited in line to have our precious copies of the novel signed by the author. I had a great time, and even exchanged laughs and ginger stories with the author herself, but something that transpired during the event really disturbed me.
I overheard one particular die-hard Travis Maddox fan share with another gal that because of reading the books, she “had MUCH higher standards in dating now.”
This made me sad.
First of all, I am bummed that it took a fictional character in a story for a girl to suddenly develop standards for the type of man she’ll date. A woman should find intrinsic value in herself, recognize that her opinions are valid, and have the way she wants to be treated respected. As someone who, for a long time, felt that I wasn’t good enough for a quality guy to be interested in me (until my incredible husband came along and showed me differently!), I now know that every woman deserves to have standards and not settle for anything less. It doesn’t take a made-up man in a novel to give her that right.
Conversely, I was also sad because the gal who made this statement was so caught up in having everything on her romantic fantasy checklist crossed off, that she missed the point. Whatever qualities or standards one expects in their partner, they should work on developing in themselves first. If you want a guy who is confident, articulate, and buff, then you should work on being those very same things. Having standards is great, but if you fail to meet the very criteria you judge every man by, then something is wrong. Don’t have hypocritical expectations. That’s not fair to you, or the potentials you meet.
While this certainly wasn’t a typical ManCrushMonday post, I really needed to share what was on my heart. Book boyfriends are great. But know that YOU are a kind, smart, funny, and beautiful woman, and that is not contingent on any fictional guy at all!